


Showing Our True Colours (There's Too Many To Count- And Not Just In The Cakes)

by DontOffendTheBees



Series: Food For Thought: A Step-By-Step Guide To Confession Via Confection [4]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Amanda Brotzman (mentioned) - Freeform, Baking, Fluff, Friendship, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Pride, Rainbows, Schmoop, The Rowdy 3 (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-19 11:12:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11312187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontOffendTheBees/pseuds/DontOffendTheBees
Summary: 'In the old days, that definitely would have aroused Todd’s suspicion. Their original baking nights, after all, were infamous for being born of ulterior motives.But that was so two years ago.“Yeah, sure,” said Todd with an amiable smile. “Sounds fun.”'In which Dirk has a very important question to ask, and naturally a baking night is the only sensible place to ask it. Part four in the trilogy of five. Shameless fluff, shmoop and sugary sweetness for Pride month.





	Showing Our True Colours (There's Too Many To Count- And Not Just In The Cakes)

**Author's Note:**

> *tumbles into an already completed series three months late with starbucks* and aNOTHER THING.
> 
> yooooooo guys it's me again! i did plan on leaving this series done and dusted- i think we can all agree it had a pretty nice ending, quite satisfying for all involved, yes? well FUCK THAT i'm not done with my baking boys!
> 
> basically i've been giving you guys a lot of angst lately so now, as pride month draws to a close i want to give you the gift of fluff. sugar, spice and all things nice, that's this fic. if you're happy with the way things ended, read no further. if you want tooth-rotting schmoop... read on, my dears, read on.
> 
> featuring mentions/implications of faranda as well as amanda/rowdy 3 because i can't decide which i ship more and FUCK IT, it's pride month, they can be in an ambiguous six-way polyamory if they want to.
> 
> enjoy <3

Dirk _liked_ a lot of things, and he liked them _intensely_. He liked catchy pop music, especially the type with words in a language he couldn’t understand- it was _so_ much easier to just _dance_ to things without the distraction of lyrics. He liked pizza, every kind of pizza, _all_ pizza was good pizza! He couldn’t understand what the fuss was about policing the toppings- who cared if there was fruit on the top? It was _pizza,_ it was an automatic masterpiece! He liked cats and he liked leather jackets, both of which were pretty and made him feel warm and secure in himself. He liked a lot of things!

But there were two things he liked more than most.

One of them, of course, was Todd Brotzman. He’d held top spot on the list for two and half years now, and it didn’t look like that would be changing anytime soon. Ever since they’d stopped beating about the bush and began treating their relationship like what it was- i.e. _the_ relationship, the one they both knew (or at least _hoped_ ) would stick for good- life had been…

Well, there wasn’t really any one word in the English language to describe it -and Dirk knew _a lot_ of words! Dirk had moved all of his things into Todd’s apartment, and then moved _himself_ in there too, and now every day he woke up to the sight of the strange, short, grumpy man he’d fallen in love with sipping coffee at the breakfast bar while their breakfast sizzled on the stove. He’d get up himself, and pad barefoot over to the counter and kiss Todd with dry lips across it as he made grabby hands at the cup of tea that would be ready and waiting for him. They’d eat, and Dirk would tell him what he dreamed about last night, and they’d get ready to go to work. Dirk would always ask Todd what jacket he thought he should wear today, and Todd would always roll his eyes and say he didn’t care- but he’d pick one out, anyway, and it would always be the perfect choice for the day. When they got to work they’d catch up over coffee with Farah, and then either they’d spend an uneventful day in the office playing silly (and sometimes unexpectedly dangerous) games, or they’d be swept up by their latest case.

Either way, their days were often fraught with peril of some kind. But it never really worried Dirk. He was _exactly_ where he needed to be in the universe right now, and so was Todd. He was certain of it.

Sometimes they fought, and they’d go their separate ways for a few days (or weeks, once or twice). Sometimes life wouldn’t be all sunshine and roses and they’d have to deal with that, one way or another. But they _did_ deal with it, every time. No matter what, Todd always came back. Dirk had finally stopped doubting that he would.

And wasn’t that a wonderful, baffling, _extraordinary_ thing? That no matter how badly he and Todd could hurt each other sometimes, how badly they could hurt _themselves,_ he could feel the truth of it deep in his bones. He and Todd were a _constant_. Like gravity. Like the ocean’s tides; ever-changing, ebbing and flowing, sometimes pulling back but never gone for long.

How nice it was, not to be at home to doubt.

…What was he saying, again?

Oh, yes! His _other_ favourite thing.

Currently, two things were tied for joint second place: picnics, and being incredibly gay.

So the plan he was about to propose was incredibly relevant to _all three_ of his interests!

“Todd!” he exclaimed, perching himself on the edge of Todd’s desk.

Todd looked up from his phone, bemused. “Yeah?”

“Guess what month it is!”

“…June?”

“No! Well, technically yes, but _besides_ that!”

The Confused Brows™ made an appearance. “…No, no idea. What are you talking about?”

_“Pride month!”_ Dirk exclaimed, drumming his hands on the desk in excitement. “I know, I had no idea either, but Amanda just told me- just in time, too, we almost missed it!”

“Oh! Uh, okay… so?”

_“So_ we should do something! All four of us! Be the… the _proud gays_ we are!”

“’Proud gays’?”

“Well, proud bisexuals and lesbians and demi-whatever we are. I was trying to abbreviate.”

Todd snorted, putting his phone aside. “Sure. Well, okay, what were you thinking? Is there, like, a parade or something?”

“Possibly, but that’s not what I’m suggesting- I find I have _bad luck_ with parades, the most bafflingly _disastrous_ stuff tends to happen whenever I go to them.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“Anyway, _I_ thought we could go for a picnic! Weather’s supposed to be _lovely_ tomorrow!”

“Really?”

“Well, I haven’t actually _checked_ as such, but I’m sure it’ll make an effort for us! Come on, it’ll be fun! Just you, me, Amanda and Farah- it’ll be like a double date!”

Oh, hello again Confused Brows! “Like a-? I don’t… think Farah and Amanda are like that.”

Dirk snorted. “ _Please,_ Todd, it’s a _lit-tle_ bit obvious!”

“I thought Amanda had a… a, uh, _thing_ going on with the Rowdies.”

“Well, then she’ll probably want a girlfriend to balance out all those boyfriends, won’t she?”

Todd pulled a face like he was sucking on a lemon (and Dirk knew _exactly_ what that face looked like on him- he might have tricked him into doing it once or twice). He’d made no small effort to be welcoming and supportive of Amanda’s _situation_ \- and Dirk was _pret-ty_ sure that support came only _partially_ from a place of residual guilt. But evidently the idea of his sister living in polyamorous bliss with four anarchist vampires in a small van was a lot for a big brother to get used to. “I… don’t know if Farah’s gonna sign herself up for that.”

“We’ll never know if we don’t try!”

Todd rolled his eyes and sighed. “Alright. Yeah, sure, whatever, let’s do it. But if this is a pride thing, doesn’t that mean we have to invite Amanda _and_ her… boyfriends?”

Now it was Dirk’s turn to purse his lips. “… _Must_ we?”

“I guess so,” said Todd with an unenthusiastic shrug. “For solidarity, or whatever.”

“Shit.”

“Hey, we don’t _have_ to do this thing at all-“

“No!” Dirk blurted, nearly startling Todd out of his seat. Woops. Just a tad eager. “No, it’s fine, we’ll make do. I _really_ think we ought to do this. I’ve got a feeling about it! Tomorrow! We’ll call everyone now!”

Todd looked a little mystified, but he reached for his phone anyway. “Okay, sure. I’ll call Amanda.”

Dirk nodded, trying not to noticeably frown. Todd definitely had a point about the Rowdies- they had as much of a right to be there as any of them. But he’d had a plan in place, and he wasn’t sure he was happy with the idea of a bigger audience to it- he was bloody nervous enough already! Maybe he could bring his _other thing_ forward a bit? Do it _before_ the picnic, rather than during. But he didn’t want to do it just _anywhere._ It had to be special! It had to be personal, it had to be… _them._

Oh, of _course!_

“Todd,” he grinned, leaning in as Todd lifted the phone to his ear. “Let’s have a baking night! Tonight! We’ll make some cakes for the picnic!”

In the old days, that _definitely_ would have aroused Todd’s suspicion. Their original baking nights, after all, were _infamous_ for being born of ulterior motives.

But that was _so_ two years ago.

“Yeah, sure,” said Todd with an amiable smile. “Sounds fun.”

And then Amanda answered the phone (her cheerful greeting of ‘hey, asshole!’ could be heard over the line), and he was a little too distracted to pay attention to Dirk for a minute.

Which was just fine by Dirk- he wouldn’t want his sly smile to give him away, after all.

As spur-of-the-moment Plan B’s went, it was rather brilliant!

* * *

 

“I don’t know, Dirk,” said Todd, with the Serious Brows™. “Are you sure we’re, y’know, _ready_ for this?”

Dirk was all set to panic before he realised Todd was just talking about the recipe. “Oh! Yes, I should think so! We’re a lot better at this than we used to be.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got a pretty patchy history with food colouring,” he said, gaze travelling along the row of little glass bottles on the counter. “And this entire recipe kinda _hangs_ on it.”

“True,” Dirk conceded, stopping by Todd’s side to wrap an arm round his waist and pop a kiss on his head. “But we can manage it. I believe in us!”

He was fully prepared for an eye-roll and maybe a light, grouchy slap on the wrist. Time may fly and the world may change but one could always count on Todd being, in the best possible way, an unrelenting grump in the face of open and shameless affection.

But these days he was a grump in love.

He let Dirk off with just the eye-roll.

* * *

 

“We have a problem.”

Todd looked up at him, brow furrowed. “Already? What’s up?”

Dirk looked from his bowl, to Todd’s, to the four others sat ready and waiting on the counter. All their colourful cake batter, nearly ready for pouring, except; “We’ve only got six.”

“What?”

“Six! We’ve only got six!” Todd still didn’t seem to be getting it, so he elaborated. “There’s _seven_ colours in the rainbow, Todd! Roy G. Biv, remember? Let’s see, we’ve got red, orange, yes yes yes… _indigo_! Todd, we forgot the indigo!”

“We’ve got blue and green, I don’t think anyone will care.”

“But it’s _indigo!_ It’s a vital component! It’s the ‘i’ in Biv! Without it, what are we left with? Roy G. _Bv?_ I think Mister _Bvvvvv_ will care about the indigo, Todd! God, how did we manage to make an entire rainbow without _indigo?_ What were we thinking?!”

“Tell you what,” said Todd, putting down his bowl and crossing his arms. “ _Describe_ the colour indigo to me right now, and we’ll go to the store for some.”

“… It’s… blue, but… bluer?”

“... Wow, yeah, you’re right, that sounds essential.”

“Alright, alright, point taken,” Dirk grumbled, returning to his stirring with a little extra vigour. “I suppose Mr. _Bv_ can just bloody deal with it.”

* * *

 

“Look at that!” Dirk beamed, popping his empty bowl of blue batter on the counter. “Two layers in and we’ve barely spilled a drop!”

“ _I’ve_ barely spilled a drop,” Todd smirked, looking at all the splatters of blue across the trays and counter. Not a drop of excess violet to be found, obviously. Smartarse.

“I think that averages us out, don’t you?”

Todd snorted, passing the bowl of green over when his phone started ringing in the other room. “Whatever. Get started on the next one, I’ve gotta go get that.”

Dirk nodded and started pouring as Todd left. The cupcake cases were filling up nicely- they were these fantastic pastel-coloured silicone things he’d bought for the occasion, so they could keep them and re-use them. A stroke of _brilliance,_ in his opinion- he had a feeling they were going to take on a _tremendous_ amount of sentimental value after tonight.

He peeked over his shoulder. Todd was in the living room, his back turned and his phone to his ear. Probably talking to Amanda. Well, not probably. _Definitely_ talking to Amanda, seeing as Dirk had texted her thirty seconds prior with a request to phone up her brother and keep him on the line a minute. It was an odd request, but he and Amanda had a strong and carefully cultivated friendship, and their no-questions-asked caveat with regard to favours had served them both well on numerous occasions. He had no qualms at all with phoning it in- this was _incredibly_ important, after all.

He turned back to the cake awaiting its third layer, took a deep breath, and reached into his pocket.

The ring glimmered in his palm. He wondered if it was a little too flamboyant for Todd- he _had_ been planning on getting him plain silver, just to be safe. But then he’d seen this one, with its central circle of sparkly blue stones that he just _knew_ would complement Todd’s eyes perfectly, and he’d been smitten. No other one would do. It was such a little thing but it felt heavy in his hand, like he was holding his very heart out in the open air.

He reached out and carefully placed it in the waiting cupcake case. It sank a little, but the blue batter was a stiff enough consistency that it didn’t go far- good thing he pushed for the extra spoonful of flour! Hopefully it would hold out…

He heard Todd bidding Amanda goodbye, and hastily poured green to cover his tracks. The sparkle of silver was totally obscured by the time Todd made it back.

Plan B was going far more smoothly than he ever could have hoped!

“What’s up?” Todd asked, smiling bemusedly. “You’re chipper.”

“Well, why wouldn’t I be?” Dirk countered, bumping Todd with his shoulder. “Got a lot to be chipper about!”

Todd looked up at him, and smiled that soft smile that Dirk was seeing more and more of these days. “Yeah. Yeah, guess we do.”

The smile was tinged with just a touch of the ‘you’re a total fucking weirdo’ eyes, but it was nice nonetheless.

He leaned up, draping an arm round Dirk’s neck and pressing kiss to his forehead. Dirk reached round to run his fingers through Todd’s hair, almost instinctively. Everything about touching Todd was instinctual, by now. Like they were two halves of the same whole.

“Dirk?”

“Hm?”

“You didn’t wash your hands yet, did you?”

Dirk peeked at his hand, and Todd’s hair, and the bright blue batter now staining both. “…Yes I did.”

Surprisingly enough, Todd didn’t fall for it.

* * *

 

They got all their layers of batter poured much like they got their cases solved; arguably efficiently, but with some shouting and a _considerable_ amount of mess. It all worked out in the end, though! Especially after Dirk had to leave the room for a few minutes to pick up a call from Farah. He came back to two trays of finished cakes and barely a spill- besides the ones already present, most of which were his own. Todd was _very_ pleased with himself about that, and it had been up to Dirk to kiss that smug smirk off his face.

Which is _exactly_ what he did, right up until it was time for the cakes to go in the oven. Their kitchen had a _rigidly_ enforced ‘no kissing with the oven on’ rule. It had served them and their various confections well over the years- burnt cookies were, thankfully, a thing of the past. Burnt _everything_ was, actually. Brownies, cakes, pies, crumbles. Everything except meringues- they were _rubbish_ at meringues.

But despite the no kissing rule, the baking part remained Dirk’s favourite. Neither of them wanted to let the cakes out of their sight so they always, _always_ wound up camped out in front of the oven, on the floor with their legs stretched out in front of them, licking excess batter from bowls and spoons like six year-olds. Not that Dirk could remember being a six year-old all that well, but he liked to imagine that it had been a little something like this. Except this was even _better_ than any hypothetical lost childhood, because now he had Todd to do this stuff with- and doing things with Todd always made them _twice_ as fun and interesting. He wasn’t sure he’d _want_ to remember his boring, Todd–less childhood even if he could.

He watched Todd with tranquil affection. Watched him lick orange batter from a wooden spoon and utterly fail at not getting it in his moustache. Watched him reach up to sleepily ruffle his blue-caked hair. Two years since they’d started this- since a drunken kiss and a tray of burnt cookies had brought them together, _properly_ together, the way they were always supposed to be- and he’d yet to tire of just _watching_ him. He doubted he ever would.

No doubt about it. Life was better with Todd Brotzman in it.

And tonight was going to be the next big step towards _keeping_ him in it.

_God,_ the suspense was _killing_ him! “Are they ready yet?”

Todd gave him a withering look. “No, not since you asked ten seconds ago.”

“…How about now?”

* * *

 

“Ah,” Dirk giggled, hands over his mouth. “Woops!”

“Should’ve seen that coming,” said Todd with a huff. He put his hands on his hips and scuffed his foot across the carpet, dislodging a few of the rainbow sprinkles that had made their new home in the fibres. It was rather ineffective, in the grand scheme of things. All he really did was shift them about a bit. The floor had never been so colourful!

“Well, personally, I think it’s an improvement,” Dirk supplied, shrugging.

“Yeah, now the carpet’s gayer than both of us combined,” Todd snorted. “At least we got _some_ on the cakes. We’ll vacuum in the morning- it’s nearly midnight and the neighbours hate us already.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because we’re loud and have no respect for human sleep schedules?”

“We’re not loud _all_ the time. Just when we bake. Or brainstorm cases. Or have sex. Or pull arrows and harpoons out of ourselves. Or watch TV. Or… alright, fair point. But loudness aside we’re _pret-ty_ good at all of those things, so really they should be supportive of us!”

Todd looked at him, amused. “What d’you want them to do? Bang on the wall and cheer when we’re going at it?”

“Well. I enjoy positive feedback as much as the next person.”

Todd punched his shoulder, but he was laughing a little too much to put any weight behind it. “Shut up, asshole!”

“Shan’t,” said Dirk, rubbing his shoulder with a grin. “You’ll have to make me!”

_Obviously_ he intended the comment to be flirty. But rather than doing one of the predictable things- such as punch him again or kiss him silent like he was not-so-subtly angling for- Todd sloped off to the kitchen, gesturing to the trays. “Okay. How ‘bout you do something useful with your mouth and see if these things are even edible?”

“Todd,” Dirk gasped, joining him at the counter. “Are you using me as a _guinea pig?_ For shame. Here.” He picked up a cake- _the_ cake, the cake he hadn’t taken his eyes off since the trays had gone in the oven- and held it out proudly. Todd was playing _right_ into his genius plan and he didn’t even realise! “I think _you_ should take the first test!”

He hoped his face didn’t _visibly_ fall when Todd shook his head and pushed the cake back towards him. “No, man, this one’s all yours.”

…Well, this was awkward. But no matter! Dirk picked his smile up off the floor, dusted it off and plastered it back on, pushing the cake back again. “I don’t think so. Go on!”

Todd, characteristically uncooperative, pushed back with a stiff laugh. “No, seriously, I think _you_ should take the first one.”

“Oh, come on, Todd, you _clearly_ have the more refined taste buds of the two of us.” And another push. “Eat!”

“Yeah, well, you like desserts more.” Push. “You eat!”

“Honestly, Todd-“ push- “I think this _particular_ cake has your name all over it!”

“I really-“ push- “ _really_ don’t think so.”

“Todd, I have a-“ push- “ _compelling hunch_ that tells me this is yours.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got a-“ push- “ _hunch,_ too!”

“No, Todd, I really, _really_ think-“ final, _decisive_ push- “that there is something _very important indeed_ for you in this cake. Perhaps in between the blue and green layers, hmm?”

_That_ gave Todd pause. He frowned, finally accepting the troublesome confection into his hands. “…In _this_ cake?”

“Yes!”

“This _exact_ cake?”

_“Yes!_ Go on!”

Finally, Todd gave in- although he looked confused and a little annoyed about it, which wasn’t entirely reassuring. He peeled away the silicone casing and tore into the cake- between the blue and green layers, as prompted. Dirk held his breath. Any second now he’d find-

Todd inhaled sharply. _Ah._ There it was. Dirk could feel his heart in his throat, pounding away in his ears hard enough to give him a bloody concussion and he couldn’t even let his breath out yet because Todd was looking down and he couldn’t read him and oh, _God,_ he was getting lightheaded.

Then Todd looked up at him, ring in hand, and he didn’t look upset or shocked or even _happy,_ exactly, but he looked a little bit disbelieving and… _amused._

Dirk’s heart sank.

Oh, bloody hell. Maybe he’d misread all of this somehow. Maybe Todd wasn’t ready for this yet _at all_ and he’d just jumped the gun entirely and now Todd was going to laugh in his face and reject his proposal and then maybe they’d break up or if they _did_ stay together this would be a permanent awkward blot on their relationship and Dirk would never live it down or come to terms with the fact that Todd didn’t love him back the same amount and they’d drift apart and Dirk would lose the best thing he ever had and-

Suddenly the cake, minus ring, was back in his hand, having been decisively shoved there by Todd. “Dirk,” he said, firmly but not unkindly, eyes crinkling at the corners. “I _really_ think you should have some. Maybe you could, uh, try the orange? I bet it tastes great.”

Dirk frowned, puzzled. This… was _not_ going how he thought it would, at all. But Todd didn’t look upset, or really like he was mocking Dirk at all in fact, and he was being _awfully_ insistent about the cake, so…

He looked down at the remains of the cake, and tore delicately into the orange and yellow layers.

And found something hard.

He blinked, and frowned, and tore in a little further.

A small glimmer of silver greeted him.

_…Oh._

With bated breath and wide, awestruck eyes, he extracted the ring from the cake. It was… _beautiful._ And _uncannily_ similar to the one he’d bought for Todd, except slightly slimmer and with a rainbow of stones rather than uniform blue. They caught the yellow-ish glow of the overhead light, sparkling like fireworks encased in amber.

“What are the odds, huh?” said Todd with a disbelieving laugh. He had one hand in his hair, the other delicately holding Dirk’s ring as if he couldn’t quite believe it existed. “We picked the same cake.”

“Yes,” Dirk breathed, looking at Todd and feeling a warm, buoyant glow that had nothing to do with the sugar high spread through his chest.  “That’s… quite a coincidence.”

“Yeah…”

Dirk looked at the ring. _His_ ring. Then he looked at Todd. Then back and forth a few times. “So… does that mean the answer’s ‘yes’, or- _oof!”_

He staggered back, suddenly in possession of an armful of Todd Brotzman.

“Of course it is, idiot,” Todd laughed into Dirk’s chest, squeezing him tight like he never planned on letting go.

Which… was just fine, actually, come to think of it.

* * *

 

“Hey, guys,” Farah called, closing the apartment door behind her. “You ready to go? Amanda and the Rowdies are already… guys?”

“Farah!” Dirk grinned, poking his head round the doorframe to greet her. “We’ll be with you in a second! As soon as _Todd’s_ made his mind up!”

“Dirk, this is stupid,” Todd’s voice floated out from the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Farah asked, coming to lean on the breakfast bar and observe them. They were both stood barefoot on the tiles, in their Mexican Funeral t-shirts (which they both wore as pyjamas these days. Adorable), and Dirk had both arms held out in front of him, hands palm-up and folded shut.

“We have a _very important_ decision to make,” said Dirk with a serious nod. “And we weren’t getting anywhere, so naturally I suggested the fairest course of action was to leave it up to the universe!”

“I did _not_ agree to this.”

“Honestly, Todd, we were only going round in circles! Come on, just pick a hand and then we’ll have done with it!”

“This really isn’t how you’re supposed to decide stuff like this.”

Dirk rolled his eyes, and turned to face Farah instead. “Farah! How about you give it a whirl? Since Todd’s so reluctant to make a decision.”

“Um…” She looked at Todd over Dirk’s shoulder. His face was red and he gave her an embarrassed shrug, but he didn’t argue, so… “Uh, okay, sure.”

She reached out, hesitated a moment, and tapped Dirk’s right hand. He opened it, revealing a small scrap of paper with- “Is that- why’s _my name_ on this?” Farah asked, picking it up and squinting at it.

“A- _ha!”_ Dirk exclaimed, grinning at Todd. “See? Problem solved!”

“What problem, what-?” Farah kinda felt like she’d missed something important. She stepped back from the counter, and her foot crunched on something. She looked down at the patch of rainbow sprinkles under her feet, and a piece of the puzzle clicked into place. “Hang on, were you… were you guys _baking_ last night?”

“Yes!” said Dirk, beaming proudly. “We made cakes for the picnic!”

“Right, o-kay. Yeah, makes sense.” Feeling wrong-footed and behind the curve after a Dirk and Todd baking night was familiar territory. She wondered what relationship-altering revelation they’d reached this time. “Okay, so-“ she raised the paper, along with a questioning eyebrow- “what’s this?”

Todd shuffled his feet a little. “Well, uh… we both had something to ask you and Amanda, and we couldn’t figure out who should ask who since, well, Amanda’s my sister but she’s better friends with Dirk and, uh…”

“I think this worked out rather nicely,” Dirk smiled, opening his left hand and revealing a crumpled scrap of paper with Amanda’s name scrawled on it.

And that wasn’t all he revealed.

Farah stared at the thin, jewel-embedded silver band on Dirk’s finger. Since when did Dirk wear-?

Wait a second.

She snapped her gaze to Todd, looked down at his hands where they were hanging in his awkward, slouchy Todd way by his sides, and clocked the almost-matching ring on _his_ finger.

Wait a _second._

Dirk smiled at Todd and gave him a little nudge with his elbow. “Maybe you should ask her now, eh? Put her out of her misery.”

“Hilarious, Dirk,” Todd muttered. He cleared his throat and looked at Farah, fiddling with the ring on his finger. “Uh… well, I kinda don’t know how to ask you this. I’m, uh, not actually sure what I’m asking- I mean, guys are supposed to have best men, right? But you guys are our best friends, and we’re not gonna ask someone else over some stupid gender thing, so…”

“Todd,” she said, on the verge of stunned laughter. “Spit it out.”

“Jesus, okay- Farah, will you be my…” he shrugged, smiling bashfully. “Best woman?”

She grinned, rounding the corner to crush the idiot in a hug. “Yes. Yes, of- of _course_ I will, Todd. I’d be _honoured.”_

Todd squeezed her back, laughing a little breathily. “Awesome.”

Farah smiled and looked over his shoulder, catching sight of Dirk hovering at a respectable distance with a little dazed smile on his face. “Dirk,” she said, beckoning. “Get in here.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Within seconds he was behind Todd, snuggled up to his back as his arms enfolded them both. Farah couldn’t help but laugh as he patted her back clumsily and Todd complained about being crushed. It was kinda like being home with her brothers. If her brothers had been two sweet, awkward detective guys, covered in cake batter and about to get married.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t all that much like being home with her brothers.

“Hey, guys,” she said, smiling so hard her face hurt a bit. “We’d better, um, we’d better get going- everyone’s there already. If we don’t make get there soon they’re gonna eat everything.”

“Ah, brilliant idea, Farah!” Dirk beamed, breaking away and doing his little awkward penguin dash over to the bed. Looked like he’d already laid out his clothes for the day- including a pretty, uh, _funky_ multi-coloured leather jacket. It was kind of amazing that such a thing existed; even more amazing that Dirk had somehow managed to get his hands on it. “This is going to be fun! And delicious- the cakes came out _beautifully!_ Ooh, and this’ll be the _perfect_ opportunity to ask Amanda my all-important question!”

“Yeah,” said Farah quietly, thinking about it. Dirk and Todd, turning up to a pride month picnic. With Amanda and the Rowdies. With cakes. _Engaged_. Dirk asking Amanda to be his best woman, showing off their sparkly rings and the happy blush on both their faces.

She smiled, crossing her arms and watching fondly as they bickered over neckties. “Can’t wait…”

The force of Amanda’s tackle hug was gonna take him _down._

And the Rowdies always followed Amanda’s example…

Shit. She’d better check she still had that first aid kit in the car.

**Author's Note:**

> well, i hope that didn't let the series down xD there IS gonna be a part five, and it's gonna be even shmoopier than this probably, but idk when that's gonna be so don't hold your breath!
> 
> and let me just say, from the bottom of my little queer heart, thank you. everyone who's been reading, reblogging, reviewing or basically any other response i could get, it makes my day, it really does. i'm actually considering going back to college after this year's break and doing something to do with english and writing because i'm just finding it so much more rewarding than any of my artistic pursuits at the moment and you guys are definitely a big part of that. y'all are my family, my little fandom family, and i love you all to death. be proud of yourselves, darlings- not just this month but EVERY month, every minute of every day, be proud of yourselves and love yourselves because there's no one else quite like you on this earth and there never will be. shine on you crazy diamonds <3
> 
> (I pictured Dirk and Todd's rings kinda looking like [this](http://luisaverling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/coloured-saphhires-ring.jpg) and [this](https://vidarjewelry.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/16.jpg) btw- cuz they're totally the type of dorks who would a) buy each other stupidly pretty things and b) accidentally buy each other matching things. and [this](https://cdn-img-3.wanelo.com/p/7e4/c7d/23f/24f972fff39511b688d678d/x354-q80.jpg) is dirk's pride jacket- the colourful nerd! <3)


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